I Wanna Write for the MSM

"There's no whore like an old whore." - Brian Mulroney (telling the truth for a change)

After all, money is money. And hey, what the heck, I've been involved with, gulp, TV and radio ad jingles (may G-d forgive me), so how much lower is there to go?
I can do this. How bout some briefs?...

Republican Senator Greg Ball wants to torture Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the child charged in the Boston Marathon incident. Critics say Senator Ball, a Republican, is typical of the cruelty inherent in the Republican Party.

Investigators have been questioning Dzhokhar Tsarnaev about what drove he and his brother to act out in such an unfortunate way. So far, all that's known for sure is it all had nothing to do with a great Religion of Peace™.

Justin Trudeau, Liberal Party Leader and son of the late, great Prime Minister, wowed yet another adoring throng of average Canadians at Carleton University yesterday. Analysts say Trudeau's clearly vast intelligence, deep insight and grasp of issues are keys to his universal appeal.

CAIR-Canada is concerned the recent incidents involving the Boston Marathon and Via Rail will only add to the epidemic of Islamophobic attacks the vast majority of Muslims are already enduring. They're recommending Canada adopt Shariah law as a remedy. Many leading analysts agree.

Clashes between Israeli forces and Palestinian people have many leading analysts wondering what it will take for Israel to finally agree to peace in the Middle East.

By George, I think I've got it!